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As I read the news and my favorite blogs last week over my first cup of coffee for the morning, I recalled the importance of sonder. Defined as “the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex and your down,” sonder is an emotion that always seeks to find the humble, vulnerable aspects of a person.

A recent PMI Rochester Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion blog, featuring a short film following two men on a cross journey of racism and the human condition, was on my list of blogs to read that morning. I was not prepared to be as emotionally struck; the strong desire to continually better myself at understanding racism and standing up for inclusivity and equity resonated deeply. 

Spoiler alert: if you have not already, give the article (“’Two Strangers Who Meet Five Times’ by Marcus Markou”) a read. If not, here’s the skinny — the two men meet when one of the men spews hate speech against the other. In each of the other 4 encounters, the men meet randomly and entirely by chance. For example, years after the hate speech encounter, the men meet again, but this time, the man who had spewed the hate speech is homeless and asking the other for support. The film follows various emotional scenarios until the men are old in age with one caring for the other in a nursing facility — again by complete chance. The story depicts heartache, conflicted support, and confusion regarding how to embrace those that may look different. 

The immediate feeling I had following the video was sonder because of the pure understanding that we are all on a journey of understanding and obliterating racism, while knowing there are deep and engrossed policies and cultural norms that are not equitable or accessible to all people. I was also reminded that we all have power over our lives to react with grace and love.

At the end of the day, we are all human — regardless of class, color, gender, orientation — and all people are inherently worthy and should be respected. At the end of our lives, we would have all endured the same emotions — anger, sadness, joy, elation, envy — and all people experience heartbreak, struggle, and the willingness to be accepted. 

The video sends a powerful message that we have time now to educate ourselves and to become better than the former versions of ourselves. The challenge, in accepting our former versions of ourselves, is in how we move forward.

If you’re in that same position as me — the wanting to make an impact, become educated, and challenge racist ideals and policies — here are a few resources:

MK Ghandi Institute https://gandhiinstitute.org/

Educause’s Book Recommendations https://library.educause.edu/resources/2019/1/dei-book-recommendations

Racial Equity & Justice Initiative https://www.sjncenter.org/REJI

To see the original blog post with a link to the video, got to https://www.pmirochester.org/blog/two-strangers-who-meet-five-times-by-marcus-markou-4630.

What did you think of the video? What impact did it have on your day? How are you working to advance your understanding of racism? What are some solutions to reacting to others with hatred? Share in the comments below!